By Elmion (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
It's funny the things that will get you back into doing what you thought you had become completely disenchanted with. Football hips, for example, have brought me back to running after a one-year escape. And this article (http://news.sciencemag.org/biology/2014/07/why-you-should-swing-your-arms-when-you-run) prompted me to reopen the blog. It cracks me up that researchers will study such things as the difference between energy consumption when swinging your arms while running and energy consumption when holding your arms straight up in the air while running (presumably for longer than it takes to cross a finish line). I can't figure out who the results will serve with that one. I mean, how big IS the population of runners who, unconsciously, run with their arms straight up in the air? They also tested efficiency of running with one's hands behind the back. That posture is nearly impossible to maintain. I know this because I tried it out at track last night. Your arms, among other things, help you balance, and, usually, will automatically want to aid you in preventing successive face floppage, unless you work really hard at keeping them straight behind you. And I still do not know your name, woman in the purple Brooks singlet, but I didn't mean to touch your bum when I lost my balance and flailed about-- I am not a track pervert! It was just research!
What SHOULD have been tested are the ACTUAL running postures that runners adopt or fall into as they tire. For instance, the ones I see on runners crossing Memorial Bridge every day:
1. Bob Dole. This posture is maintained by those who believe in hydration, but hate the chafe-o-ramic, balance disturbing effects of a fuel belt. The hydration is clutched tightly in one hand, forcing nearly all the muscles in that arm to be constantly activated while the other arm swings freely and naturally.
2. The Tae Kwon Boer. The arms are held up in a 90 degree bicep curl and the upper body twists while running, like you're doing cross-punches.
3. The Tae Boobler. Similar to the posture of the Tae Kwon Boer, but the arms are bent at a 45 degree angle and the fists or wrists seem planted on either side of the rib cage or higher, making it look like you are trying to use your fists to squeeze your boobs together. (This might actually be the point of this posture, I am not really sure).
4. The T-Rex. Sounds like a fierce, desireable posture, right? The T-Rex is fast! The T-Rex is strong! But have you noticed the T-Rex's arms?! Dinky and useless! T-Rex running is when your shoulders are relaxed and your wrists are relaxed but your arms are bent at a 90 degree angle and your elbows look like they've been glued to your sides. Your forearms are like sticks shooting straight out in front of you and your hands are just flopping around on the ends of those sticks like goofy little hand flags. If it sounds like I'm making fun it's because I HATE T-REX POSTURE. It doesn't help you, and it looks totally stupid. I know this because my hands are droopy-la-poopy in front of me in virtually every race photo that has ever been taken of me.
If you are prone to this posture fight it! Fight it, I say! If you aren't going to help yourself with a nice relaxed but propulsive little swing, I say opt for the Tae Boobler, at least you might help stave off the midlife gravitational descent to the middle of the earth that is COMING FOR YOU, ladies.
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