by Emilie David on Monday, June 20, 2011 at 11:36pm
I have completed my first official triathlon. I think they are making a movie about it – it is called Bridget Jones’s Triathlon. Well, ok it wasn’t really all that bad. But remember The Wide World of Sports? And how the opening credits involved Jim McKay saying “The thrill of victory – and the agony of defeat!”? My foray into the world of competitive multisport has left me feeling both. Sometimes simultaneously. Which is almost more tiring than the actual triathlon was. Here is how it went:
Saturday, 1:10 pm:
Driving to the transition area to rack my bike a day in advance, I decide I can get street parking and pass the designated lots, only to find there is no street parking available. There is really no way to get lost there, but I manage to, and about 15 minutes later, have found my way back to the parking lot I avoided the first time around. Get out my bike and walk it (since did not bring helmet and shoes) the almost mile to transition. Am completely disgustingly sweaty. (defeat)
Saturday, 1:40 pm:
Coach is outside the transition area, already in rally mode. She is talking to another triathlete, so I automatically get well wishes and rallying x 2. (victory)
Saturday 1:45pm:
Rack my bike (Bruiser), take pictures of him and the row he is in. I am one of the first ones there, so Bruiser is hanging there alone, without anyone to talk to. Other bikes in other rows have protective plastic on them. Am feeling like lousy bike parent. Am feeling separation anxiety. (defeat)
1:47 pm:
Must look forlorn about leaving Bruiser as someone asks if I need help or have any questions. It is the race director. I ask him about the mount lines and if there are any rules about entering and exiting transition and he answers all my questions and high fives me for it being my first triathlon and for picking it because I love the bike course. (victory)
2:00pm – 10:00pm:
Laundry, cleaning, planning, alternating between excitement and abject terror (victory, defeat, victory, defeat, defeat)
10:30? 11:00?
Asleep. (VICTORY)
Sunday, 2:30 am:
First of 5 alarms goes of (D E F E A T)
5:00am:
Face fact that am going to actually have to use porta-potty (defeat)
7:00 am:
Sprint waves begin. Lots of cheering and wishing of good luck (victory)
THE SWIM
7:0something:
In the water. First 100 meters feels ok – a little bumpy but ok (VICTORY!)
7:0something plus about 5 minutes:
Get bumped, disoriented, and take in water. (massive panic)
2-3 minutes later:
Collect self at kayak. (defeat)
I don’t know how much later:
Game strategy completely gone from head in favor of survival strategy. Thus is born a new swim stroke I like to call the spluttering-tri. It is an amalgamation of freestyle (for one stroke), breast stroke, and side stroke, with a healthy dose of coughing thrown in between gulps of Potomac. It’s a very technical type of stroke, like butterfly is, so I fully expect it to become a competitive event in the near future. (Victory?)
Half a gabillion panic filled strokes and glides and rests later:
Exit ramp is sighted, eventually felt, and embarked!
(VICTORY)
On the dock:
Helpful volunteer shouts “Don’t slip – the mat is wet!” My body registers this as “Slip on the wet mat!” and I go down into a very unattractive, unsuccessful half split which I somehow manage to MC Hammer up out of. (defeat with a bit of victory fringe)
In Transition 1:
Once again, Bruiser is looking pretty lonely there on the rack. (defeat)
Out of Transition 1:
I remember to run well past the mount line, get on and clipped in without any difficulty! (victory)
THE BIKE
The course is fantastic. Really crowded, but except for dodging people and trying to figure out how to NOT draft in a field that is 5 bikers across at this point, it is so amazing to be in the street, flying through lights that are the bane of my normal commuting existence! Biking up the Whitehurst without a care! Around the circle at the end of Memorial bridge! Whoo hoo! (victory)
In Transition 2:
I get clipped out without a problem. (victory)
I rack Bruiser. He has LOTS of friends. (defeat)
Out of Transition 2:
Leigh and Ken are outside Transition cheering and rallying! I am so excited to see them I nearly run over the cone that separates the Bike lane from the Run lane (victory – if for no other reason than that I passed something – even if it was a stationary cone!)
THE RUN:
All thoughts of fun bike now replaced by memory of miserable swim and realization that legs are cramping. Have forgotten cough drops which automatically makes me notice my breathing. (defeat)
First water stop:
Make it to first water stop (victory) and stop (defeat).
Coach:
She is omnipresent on this course motivating all of us whom she coaches and even those whom she doesn’t. I stop, dejected, in front of her. She gets me moving again. It’s a massive effort on both our parts. (victory)
Third water stop:
Losing will and capacity to think as evidenced by act of pouring powerade on self instead of the water. (defeat)
Awesome crowd:
You cannot walk by a big crowd. Especially if someone(s) you know are in it! I hear my name about 3 times – I don’t know if I am the Emilie they are yelling for but beggars and such! I hear Chris remind me to loosen up my arms, so I do. It helps a little. (victory)
Camera Guy:
I have big love for the camera guy. You CANNOT walk by the camera guy. You must run, and you must look happy doing it. So I do both. (victory)
Last water stop:
I have cramped before and it hasn’t stopped me. Today, it is stopping me. (Defeat)
Volunteers:
I have run a lot of races and cheered at a lot of races. DC Tri volunteers are amazing. They are excited, supportive, motivating, and know what the heck they are doing! This time I choose to believe them when they say I am almost done, and finally, 3.5 miles too late, I start to get my s^&* together and find a stride. (Victory)
The last turn:
One right after the other, I encounter a triathlete getting loaded onto a stretcher and a dead rat in the street. I say a quick prayer for my fellow athlete and realize what a big deal this thing we did today actually is. The rat just ticks me off, because clearly, this race is trying to f!@# with me.
Finish line in sight:
I know I will be disappointed with the time, but this is a finish line I have truly worked for, harder than any other. There is no real point in tearing towards it, but I do a little, with enough energy reserved to manage a smile going across. (Victory) ((even though at that point, I had no control of any of my muscles and most likely it will look like I am snarling in the Finishing photo))
Finish Line Festival:
I get my Finisher’s Medal! I get my photo taken with medal on and Capitol behind me (more snarl smiling)! Surely they are there, but I encounter no bananas in the finish area. (Victory!)
Post Script:
My mom had hoped, because it is her job to love and worry over me (which I would not trade for anything), that one time doing what she calls “this three whirly-gig business” would be enough for me to get it out of my system. I broke the news to her as gently as I could and suggested she renew her acquaintance with medicinal levels of alcohol. I have already written down my goal times for the next triathlon. Today I was comparing notes with a co-worker and fellow DC Tri triathlete. I was working from home in my PJ’s and analgesic patches while he took his aches to the office. He had a similar swim experience, and I told him that we could proudly now give the Potomac the mental finger every time we passed it, having taken it on and lived to talk about it. He responded with what is my favorite quote about this whole experience: “Arrrg I wish you were in today so we could chat about this and talk about how awesome we are.”
I have completed my first official triathlon. I think they are making a movie about it – it is called Bridget Jones’s Triathlon. Well, ok it wasn’t really all that bad. But remember The Wide World of Sports? And how the opening credits involved Jim McKay saying “The thrill of victory – and the agony of defeat!”? My foray into the world of competitive multisport has left me feeling both. Sometimes simultaneously. Which is almost more tiring than the actual triathlon was. Here is how it went:
Saturday, 1:10 pm:
Driving to the transition area to rack my bike a day in advance, I decide I can get street parking and pass the designated lots, only to find there is no street parking available. There is really no way to get lost there, but I manage to, and about 15 minutes later, have found my way back to the parking lot I avoided the first time around. Get out my bike and walk it (since did not bring helmet and shoes) the almost mile to transition. Am completely disgustingly sweaty. (defeat)
Saturday, 1:40 pm:
Coach is outside the transition area, already in rally mode. She is talking to another triathlete, so I automatically get well wishes and rallying x 2. (victory)
Saturday 1:45pm:
Rack my bike (Bruiser), take pictures of him and the row he is in. I am one of the first ones there, so Bruiser is hanging there alone, without anyone to talk to. Other bikes in other rows have protective plastic on them. Am feeling like lousy bike parent. Am feeling separation anxiety. (defeat)
1:47 pm:
Must look forlorn about leaving Bruiser as someone asks if I need help or have any questions. It is the race director. I ask him about the mount lines and if there are any rules about entering and exiting transition and he answers all my questions and high fives me for it being my first triathlon and for picking it because I love the bike course. (victory)
2:00pm – 10:00pm:
Laundry, cleaning, planning, alternating between excitement and abject terror (victory, defeat, victory, defeat, defeat)
10:30? 11:00?
Asleep. (VICTORY)
Sunday, 2:30 am:
First of 5 alarms goes of (D E F E A T)
5:00am:
Face fact that am going to actually have to use porta-potty (defeat)
7:00 am:
Sprint waves begin. Lots of cheering and wishing of good luck (victory)
THE SWIM
7:0something:
In the water. First 100 meters feels ok – a little bumpy but ok (VICTORY!)
7:0something plus about 5 minutes:
Get bumped, disoriented, and take in water. (massive panic)
2-3 minutes later:
Collect self at kayak. (defeat)
I don’t know how much later:
Game strategy completely gone from head in favor of survival strategy. Thus is born a new swim stroke I like to call the spluttering-tri. It is an amalgamation of freestyle (for one stroke), breast stroke, and side stroke, with a healthy dose of coughing thrown in between gulps of Potomac. It’s a very technical type of stroke, like butterfly is, so I fully expect it to become a competitive event in the near future. (Victory?)
Half a gabillion panic filled strokes and glides and rests later:
Exit ramp is sighted, eventually felt, and embarked!
(VICTORY)
On the dock:
Helpful volunteer shouts “Don’t slip – the mat is wet!” My body registers this as “Slip on the wet mat!” and I go down into a very unattractive, unsuccessful half split which I somehow manage to MC Hammer up out of. (defeat with a bit of victory fringe)
In Transition 1:
Once again, Bruiser is looking pretty lonely there on the rack. (defeat)
Out of Transition 1:
I remember to run well past the mount line, get on and clipped in without any difficulty! (victory)
THE BIKE
The course is fantastic. Really crowded, but except for dodging people and trying to figure out how to NOT draft in a field that is 5 bikers across at this point, it is so amazing to be in the street, flying through lights that are the bane of my normal commuting existence! Biking up the Whitehurst without a care! Around the circle at the end of Memorial bridge! Whoo hoo! (victory)
In Transition 2:
I get clipped out without a problem. (victory)
I rack Bruiser. He has LOTS of friends. (defeat)
Out of Transition 2:
Leigh and Ken are outside Transition cheering and rallying! I am so excited to see them I nearly run over the cone that separates the Bike lane from the Run lane (victory – if for no other reason than that I passed something – even if it was a stationary cone!)
THE RUN:
All thoughts of fun bike now replaced by memory of miserable swim and realization that legs are cramping. Have forgotten cough drops which automatically makes me notice my breathing. (defeat)
First water stop:
Make it to first water stop (victory) and stop (defeat).
Coach:
She is omnipresent on this course motivating all of us whom she coaches and even those whom she doesn’t. I stop, dejected, in front of her. She gets me moving again. It’s a massive effort on both our parts. (victory)
Third water stop:
Losing will and capacity to think as evidenced by act of pouring powerade on self instead of the water. (defeat)
Awesome crowd:
You cannot walk by a big crowd. Especially if someone(s) you know are in it! I hear my name about 3 times – I don’t know if I am the Emilie they are yelling for but beggars and such! I hear Chris remind me to loosen up my arms, so I do. It helps a little. (victory)
Camera Guy:
I have big love for the camera guy. You CANNOT walk by the camera guy. You must run, and you must look happy doing it. So I do both. (victory)
Last water stop:
I have cramped before and it hasn’t stopped me. Today, it is stopping me. (Defeat)
Volunteers:
I have run a lot of races and cheered at a lot of races. DC Tri volunteers are amazing. They are excited, supportive, motivating, and know what the heck they are doing! This time I choose to believe them when they say I am almost done, and finally, 3.5 miles too late, I start to get my s^&* together and find a stride. (Victory)
The last turn:
One right after the other, I encounter a triathlete getting loaded onto a stretcher and a dead rat in the street. I say a quick prayer for my fellow athlete and realize what a big deal this thing we did today actually is. The rat just ticks me off, because clearly, this race is trying to f!@# with me.
Finish line in sight:
I know I will be disappointed with the time, but this is a finish line I have truly worked for, harder than any other. There is no real point in tearing towards it, but I do a little, with enough energy reserved to manage a smile going across. (Victory) ((even though at that point, I had no control of any of my muscles and most likely it will look like I am snarling in the Finishing photo))
Finish Line Festival:
I get my Finisher’s Medal! I get my photo taken with medal on and Capitol behind me (more snarl smiling)! Surely they are there, but I encounter no bananas in the finish area. (Victory!)
Post Script:
My mom had hoped, because it is her job to love and worry over me (which I would not trade for anything), that one time doing what she calls “this three whirly-gig business” would be enough for me to get it out of my system. I broke the news to her as gently as I could and suggested she renew her acquaintance with medicinal levels of alcohol. I have already written down my goal times for the next triathlon. Today I was comparing notes with a co-worker and fellow DC Tri triathlete. I was working from home in my PJ’s and analgesic patches while he took his aches to the office. He had a similar swim experience, and I told him that we could proudly now give the Potomac the mental finger every time we passed it, having taken it on and lived to talk about it. He responded with what is my favorite quote about this whole experience: “Arrrg I wish you were in today so we could chat about this and talk about how awesome we are.”
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