Upon request, I have decided to make this whole bra testing
thing a series, for as long as I can get jiggles, I mean giggles, out of it.
If the whole broken boob thing from the last installment didn’t
freak you out enough, I have yet another alarming fact to share with you. In the latest issue of Women’s Running
magazine, among coach and columnist Jenny Hadfield’s favorite things is the
Moving Comfort “Jubralee” bra. Why? Because when donned for over an hour of
running, it “reduces vertical motion by roughly 450 feet.” Do you know what that means? That means that without it, your boobs might bounce themselves to the top of the Seattle
Space Needle (approx 600 feet)! Ouch.
Sadly, there was no sale on the Jubralee, so I cannot
confirm its flight reduction properties.
Plus, I feel like taking off in something with a name like “The Jubralee”
would require streamers and confetti and perhaps breaking a Gatorade bottle
over my stern. I tested the Champion
Double Dry® Seamless Adjustable Max-Support Sports Bra instead. I know what you are wondering, and I’ve got
the answers:
Will it stop my girls from leaping tall buildings in a
single bound?
First, it has an
adjustable back, so you can clamp that sucker as tight as you please. The band is a nice, wide, gravity defy-er
while the neckline is squared off and high to keep your balloons from flying
up, up and away. I don’t feel like the
girls would have made it up the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. In fact, I didn’t notice any sort of bouncy
movement at all.
Need boob lube?
While it was only
warmish, I sweat a river no matter the weather.
Moisture typically begets movement, so I usually apply glide to the
usual chafing places once the thermometer tops 60 degrees, but I forgot
today. Turns out I didn’t need it – no stinging
in the shower.
Nun on the run or girls just wanna have fun?
While the idea
behind the construction of this thing does
seem to be ‘keep ‘em flat and they won’t go splat’, they have knit in two
individual compartments to avoid the whole uniboob look. Champion thinks the square neckline adds “feminine
flair.” The most I can say about the
stylishness of that is that it does not look like the top of a wife beater. There are actually straps, which are
adjustable and which cross over the back.
I guess strappy is sexy, right?
It’s cute enough to wear it alone on a hot day if you have 6-pack abs
that you are proud of and not my 2-donut stack of humility.
Can I use it to wrap my knee after I’ve pushed myself too
hard?
It is perhaps the
most comfortable sports bra I have ever worn.
It’s seamlessly knit and pleasingly stretchy, but unlike those knit yoga
bralet thingies, it has grown up and knows how to do its job. It’s like an ace bandage for your bust.
Remember – keep those
things in check (and under your neck)!
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